Final Blog Post for Stinky Tofu
The following was written right before we left Taiwan:
The following was written right before we left Taiwan:
We are going back to the States on Saturday and I am trying to put together in my mind everything that has happened these past few months. First of all, I can sigh a big sigh for relief and say, "we made it!" (well, almost... trip back and settling back in could be another blog in itself)! There were many challenges to hurdle during this stay including, the kids' transition, illnesses, the extreme heat, moving in with Steve's parents, mosquitoes, driving and finding parking, making friends and finding community and the difficulty of it all, isolation, language barriers, the extreme cold and not having a heater, Steve's many business trips, bullying at school, and Steve's late night conference calls (10pm -12 am most nights of the week). But these things seem insignificant (now that it's almost over) compared to all of the blessings we have received.
First, my kids' Chinese has improved significantly. Moses can now get along in his preschool class very well and speaks fluently with all his peers. He is just like one of the kids there. He can memorize Chinese poetry, recognize some characters and knows how to communicate. Mission accomplished! He speaks Mandarin exclusively to his grandparents. Seraphine's first language is Chinese. Almost everything she says is in Chinese but she can understand both.
We have all gotten to know Steve's parents! We rarely get to spend much time with them but now we can really see what they are like. The kids have bonded with them and they have absolutely spoiled us. At our church women's luncheon today Steve's mom said that her strategy for getting along with her daughter in law is to spoil her. Lucky me! I also realized that one day Steve's wish to have four children will come to pass, once our chldren are both married. We will have four children then.
I continued this posting after returning to the States:
I continued this posting after returning to the States:
I have learned form Steve's mom how to be a great mom and a successful woman. It is not about appearances, but it is about having a mother's heart and caring for the people around you. She plays a crucial role in her family's connectedness and well being and I see how she reaches out to her extended family, spends time with friends, works hard to take care of her family and the family business. I am inspired and thankful for her model for how to be a success and wealthy in relationships. I watched as the kept in touch with relatives and friends and created family cohesiveness. I loved her not caring about what other people thinks attitude. She is such her own person.
I had a 9month break from my daily routines, housekeeping, cooking, and the busy OC lifestyle: Priceless! God must have pitied us. We were so tired and exhausted from raising our young kids and managing the household and shopping and going to birthday parties and buying things and returning things and rushing around all the time trying to catch up to the endless to dos. I had developed acid reflux and was taking Prilosec due to stress and lack of sleep. I only took prilosec a few times in Taiwan when things got rough or kids got sick.
We also thank God for our great renters and the money we saved while living in Taichung. Our expenses were very low and money goes much farther here. We were able to enjoy eating out a few times a week at very low prices. It’s been a financial break for us here, too, for we didn’t have to worry so much about making ends meet.
With Steve's mom's babysitting, Steve and I were able to enroll in excercise classes twice a week at the YMCA! We did it even though we often did not want to go to our yoga and Pilates classes, we stuck to it to the end and made some great friends.
The Methodist Church of Taichung was a huge blessing to us and like a family to us. Across the street from our home, Moses’ preschool is located on this campus. Both the school and the church are a shining bright light of God’s love in our neighborhood. Moses has had an excellent education here and our preschool back home can not even compare in terms of academics or quality of teaching. The teachers put their entire hearts into the work and it is truly a life ministry for them. The only way they can be sustained in this work is through the Holy Spirit; for everyday of school is like vacation Bible Study or a one week missions outreach (except the same passion never ends). When asked by the teacher what he learned this year, Moses explained to his class that he gained friendships, Chinese language, and improved his math skills through the montessori materials. He had a truly amazing year and grew in leaps and bounds. His education was exceptional and the level of commitment and professionalism and care at the school far exceeds anything I have seen in the States. We will miss Wesley Methodist Preschool!
Spiritually, it has been an eye-opening experience for me. I came to Taiwan really hoping I could get involved in some non-profit ministry. But I was never able to make the right connections or find an opportunity. If there was an opportunity such as visiting a convalescent hospital, there was a schedule conflict of some type. I was getting discouraged. I was hoping to get more involved in a small group or church life, but found that having young children really limited my choices in that area, as well. I was lucky to have figured out a way to watch the Sunday sermons on a video screen upstairs from the service with my kids. Our church has Sunday school but Moses did not like to go and I couldn’t hear the TV in the baby room.
We decided to choose a Chinese speaking church (with some English speakers) to go to and thus the language barrier seemed to limit community-building too. But about half way into our stay, I decided to stop being frustrated and simply accept our limitations and choose to grow close to God exactly within the constraints of my life as it is. This, I found was not difficult, for God is at work all around me and in me, just not in the ways that I was thinking and spiritual life does not mean church life, although church life is very important. The simple fact of the business being stripped away helped me to connect better with God and to see the state of my own heart. It is so easy when surrounded by Christian people and Bible studies and everything to confuse knowledge with godliness. It is so different.
In Taiwan I was able to see that the different things that I struggle with (ie. preoccupation with success and respect precisely because I feel I don’t have it; financial security) came to be more than struggles, they became gods in themselves. It is one thing to desire these things, it is another thing to completely orient your life around despairing about not having these things. There is a fine line between struggling with something and worshipping what you wish you had. I do want to follow and devote myself to God, but I know that so many things get in the way. I desire to be filled by God’s spirit and the attract others to Christ through the LIFE in me. This is my humble request right now.
We grew very close during this time to my grandfather’s brother and wife. Moses would hold my grand aunt’s hand while they walked. She has severe osteroperosis so she was close to his height. Seraphine called out her name when she saw a white haired woman selling oyster pancakes at the night market. I guess she was thinking of her, too. Grand aunt let me pray for healing for her after her emergency stomach we had a great chat. For the first time she wasn’t running around serving us. Doctor’s orders, she could not do housework, she could actually talk for the first time during a meal.
As always, our most precious memories are of the dear friends we made during our short time in Taiwan. At first I was somewhat disappointed that I did not have any great ministries to partake of or start up in Taiwan. I wanted to make a difference, do something Big. But now I can see the wisdom in my not doing “work”but “just” being able to reconnect with long lost friends and make new friends in Taichung with some local Taiwanese. God have me some friendships to Enjoy and these will be long term ones because I will be returning to Taiwan and always connected to this island country. God gave me some gifts to enjoy and friendship is a ministry in itself. I am looking long term at my relationships now. With email I do not see why we cannot maintain our friendships. In fact, I have emailed with my friend Pearl more than I have spoken to many of my friends here. I have learned to appreciate and cherish my friendships. This was more important for me to learn than serving.
We will miss the fellowship of our Christian family here in Taichung. We will miss in particular the Livingston family (Sam, Helen and their four kids). I will never forget meeting up with them at a park about a month into our arrival. We were still raw from the transition. They shared their hardships, and all the little things that they had to get used to. Helen sprayed me down with mosquito repellent and told me all her pioneer stories. I realized how spoiled I was to have a dryer. We were terribly hot. And the kids ran around and played together. What a ministry just to see Moses and Seraphine interact with some kids!
Beth and Chris Steiner introduced us the SYME and Beth introduced me to the best mango ice place and best steamed dumpling place ever. From Taichung Christian church turn left at the Mitsubishi dealership, park in the structure on the left, then walk past the fruit stands on right and make the first right. You will see a pharmacy and a lot of restaurants. Both are on the left. You will see the shaved ice place first. Absolutely delicious and cheap. Went with Beth and her friend to the Chinese folk art museum. They just carried their strollers and sometimes their two boys up stairs, even a wall. I was huffing and puffing with my little light stroller, little Seraphine and the sweat and heat, etc. I can be such a wimp sometimes.
The last week in Taiwan was a week of goodbyes. We enjoyed lunch with Steve’s friends from Morrison, lovely Debryn and vivicious Amy; Bonnie took a day off work and came down from Taipei, my small group at TCC took us out to brunch and framed a beautiful photograph for us; Ma’s women’s group at Wesley Methodist took me out to lunch at one of the sister’s Korean restaurant, we had a beautiful going a way party for Moses at school complete with games and cake with an airplane on it, and Zhou Lao shi and Lin Laoshi’s precious gifts.
Mom and Dad took us out to eat at a Japanese restaurant and we were given a special room. The kids sang and danced and said goodbye to Taiwan, yes, Moses literally yelled, Taiwan bye bye!
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As I complete this entry, I’ve already been back for over a month. What I still cannot get over is how comfortable life is here in Irvine, CA. I do not feel the discomfort of climate at any time. The weather is so temperate. I would be grateful for any day like his when I was in Taiwan. There were actually few days where the weather felt comfortable, and I would relish those days. Here I can relish every day. Life is comfortable here. Everything is so clean and parking abundant in most places.
But we are so separated in our homes and garages and cars here. It is much easier to live an isolated and self-focussed life here. Perhaps this is what we refer to as privacy. But I am surprised at the lack of friendliness around me. I am given very strange looks when I say hello or start up a conversation with people here. Am I just too excited that I can speak English here and don’t have to speak broken Chinese? Anyway, friends are all so busy. Most people require weeks or moths to set up a playdate. And there is no eye contact when you go to pick up your kids at school. In Taiwan, you greet each other as so and so’s parents simply because your kids are in the same class you are all quite cordial with each other. Here they look at me like “what is your problem? We need to get to......, I have this text to respond to, who are You?” Maybe Taiwanese are just super friendly?
A stupor can fall over my soul because the utter need to God can seem so distant But I do need Him and wish to have a changed quality of relationship with God, a changed tone, like in a painting where the colors become vibrant and three dimensional. And I can appreciate friendships and the simple treasures in life more. The best things in life are truly free. Thank you, dear God, for giving me time as an adult with young children to return to Taiwan, my home country. Thank you for the fun, the changed environment, the experiences, and new perspectives, the delicious foods, the unbeatable shopping, the new friends, the family bonds, my improved outlook on life.
Patty Tina Wu
Patty Tina Wu
